Nothing is Sound.

A tale of two paths?

2006-06-03T20:40:00.000+10:00

I miss my girl so.. All I want is to provide for her and begin a life together razing children that know the Lord and are happy as they grow. I feel that I really need to be focused on Uni and my studies in order to create that life. I want her to know I love her and Im working hard towards that. She obviously knows that. Its about making sacrifices. Sacrifices that hurt and are not the most comfortable but with a clear view of what the future could hold. When she loses faith in us, I lose faith in us. I guess its vice versa as well. This is a difficult situation and I have seen myself grow so much through the process. Maybe she does not love who I am becoming. Maybe the boy she loved is what I am happily leaving behind and now he's waving to me showing me what could be. And I am forging ahead seeing what is. I cant be the carefree, innocent, selfish, happy-go-lucky rockstar any longer. I have stared truth in the face and chosen to push on in Christs strength. My hand is to the plough and I cannot turn back. But will she decide this is not the life for her. This is not the future she wants. Or am I leaving her behind, neglecting to bring her with me? Prayer.

Big bright new horizons.. So fresh.

2006-06-02T22:07:00.000+10:00

So I guess it could be said without fear or hesitation that I am the worst blogger ever! Well, I know sarah understands this, as for anyone else, I dont think anyone has ever seen this except my beautiful Fiance.. Which is fine by me.

So things in my world are a little crazy I guess.. Im off to start clinical placement next week in Sydney and I could'nt be more excited. What started out as nerves has turned to fully fledged excitement. Im just itching to get amongst it.. so amped.

Ive been studying heaps too, had my nose in the books quite a bit this week, but not enough really. I could have acomplished so much more. You know that feeling you get when you know you probably wasted a little bit too much time on things that were'nt too important? ahuh, thats me right now. But stoked anyways..

Well, Im tired. Its raining outside. It always makes me so cozy :)

Good night Sarah :)

Mixed EMOtion..

2005-05-13T17:05:00.000+10:00

So i start my blog in a swirl of deep thought and insomnia.. Crazy, huh, never really had trouble sleeping before and now here I am, my mind in a flurry. and im tired.

Ive just returned home from malaysia. i've been here 5 days and i feel lost. i know God called me here, ive seen it in his promises, my heart just doesnt feel with me. i still know ive done the right thing, im focused, im setting a foundation for diligence and hard work but something is missing. I guess that something is in malaysia. maybe i only got stuff half right.. well its in the big mans hands, and thats just it. time is the key, i will wait and see what happens, and just chill and keep my eyes firmly on the prize.

I guess people will read this stuff. maybe not straight away but eventually? well if you are reading about me, i just pray that you will be drawn towads God, and see that through our trials hes waiting on the other end with outstretched arms..